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Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one -- Hans Selye

>> 14 July 2009


There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference.
The little difference is attitude.
The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

-- W. Clement Stone


Since I started the Uplevel Your Life program, I have noticed quite a few changes. Some small, some big.

The biggest change is that life has stopped happening to me and that I am now deliberately creating it myself.

One example happened to me yesterday.

I had prepared a pitch for our management on a project and needed input on a topic from a colleague. After I shortly outlined the project, he immediately began a negative rant. On how this was not feasible and why, that this would never be accepted, etc.

I was so overwhelmed by his negative wave that even now I am unable to list all the evidence he came up with. And his negativism was completely pulling me down with him.

I had no more arguments left.
I was literally speechless.
And completely flabbergasted.

I had no wish to counter his negativity.
I wanted to have a sane discussion, not a fight.
I have been on a high and in a positive mood lately.
I did not want to be pulled down to where he was coming from.

I didn't know what to do.

When his phone rang, I went over to the next office to a colleague of mine who has been working on this pitch with me and plain simply explained the situation above and asked him to help me. Which he gladly did.

And this colleague managed to pull the negative spiral up again into a business discussion about pro and cons. It was no longer a fight.

Afterward he told me 'That guy just needed to let off steam. And you always have to ask him what HE thinks about it.'

He was right. All that negativism was built up from the stress that this colleague is under, from the fact that he is always put in front of a fait accompli and probably feels his opinion is not valued.

We managed to come to a compromise we were all happy with and I thanked my 'rescuer'.

It made me realize a few things:
  • I am no longer willing to be pulled into negative situations
  • I am no longer afraid to ask for help
And these are two lessons I have learned recently which have upped my life quite a bit.

When I was sitting in a meeting today, another colleague with negativity written all over his face was making jokes about how he had to watch his mouth now that 'positive Mimi' was in the room.

It was kind of an indirect reproach... But I took it as a compliment because it means that my change is having an effect on others.

And that made me smile.

3 comments:

Lance 14 July 2009 at 19:29  

Keep smiling, Mimi. And keep being the "you" that you want to be. I love it! I love that you're saying "no" to negative situations and getting help when you need it. Mimi, know that I think what you're doing is awesome...and if I come across as "positive Lance", then that's a good thing! And I'm there with you in your corner...always...

Tim 15 July 2009 at 00:13  

Mimi:

Good for you. Thank you for sharing this situation and your realizations in this post. Our world is filled with people with strong opinions and sometimes these people seem to get the most attention even though their opinions are as wrong/right as anyone else's.

It is good to hear you are feeling progress in the program. By the way, I love the quote at the beginning of your post.

MindFul MiMi 15 July 2009 at 14:09  

@ Thanks so much Lance! I think the positive Lance is there most of the time already!

@Tim: I was pondering the subject and when I came across that quote it triggered the writing. So that is a good thing.
I don't mind people with strong opinions (I am one myself :-) but I mind people that insist that everyone else should paint their worlds in the same color.

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