>> 6 May 2008
What we find annoying is when we notice after he left that he has moved things in the garage - just because he thinks it is better to put them there instead of here.
What bothers us is the fact that he just does these things without asking our permission. We would probably have said yes to the sanding and painting of the garden furniture. But him taking it, just ruined the whole idea.
What irritates us is that by doing things a certain way, HIS way, he indirectly tells us that OUR way is wrong.
I do not come from a family that talks much - I mean, we talk, but not about the really important things like problems, feelings etc. So telling my dad that these gestures were not appreciated and why, was a major step for me. I first called my mom to let off some steam. Then I let a few days pass. Finally, I confronted my dad.
What can I say...? It's like he shuts down to this kind of conversations. Yes, he heard me. Yes, he will ask in the future. But did he understand why? No. And will he stop doing the things he does? Probably not.
I know he is probably not going to change - not until he understands our point of view. And he is just a stubborn kind of guy that won't admit he can be wrong. It runs in the family :-)
But I am glad and a bit proud that at least I am now able to talk to him about these things.
Thanks to Sunday Scribblings for triggering this post about Family.