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Showing posts with label Education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Education. Show all posts

If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities. -- Barbara Bursh

>> 27 July 2010

I was never good at math.

In fact, I kind of hate numbers. Of all sorts. Whether they are used to calculate, to grade someone, to make a priority list...

In May I went on a trip with my friends and it is only now that I have overcome my procrastination of doing the accounts on who owes what amount to whom.

I am allergic against spreadsheets :-)

This is definitely my weakness.
And it got a lot of attention and focus when I was in school (that, and physics and chemistry - I am really not a science type).

I was really good at languages. That was definitely my strength.
I passed all language subjects every year without any problems (and in Luxembourg school that means at least 3: German, French, English). I was good at writing, telling stories, setting up, coordinating things.

Noone ever said anything about those subjects. I passed them, so no need to comment. Commenting was for subjects you failed or sucked at.

And I wonder why that is.

Marcus Buckingham is wondering the same:



and Sir Ken Robinson also thinks the education system needs to change because it's killing creativity.

And I wonder how my life would have changed if school, my parents and teachers had focused on my strengths...

What are your strengths? Are others putting them aside to focus on your weaknesses? Are you?

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Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. -- Wayne Dyer

>> 3 June 2010

This lively RSA Animate, adapted from Dan Pink's talk at the RSA, illustrates the hidden truths behind what really motivates us at home and in the workplace.

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Why are we the way we are?

>> 16 April 2010

Are we really so much smarter than people in the Middle Ages because we think that the Earth turns around the Sun?

You see what your knowledge tells you you're seeing.

What you think the Universe is and how you react to that in everything you do depends on what you know. And when that knowledge changes, for you, the Universe changes.

We all are what we all know today.

A very interesting series of historic events and what changes the Universe.

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Rules eliminate the need for judgement -- Barry Schwartz

>> 2 March 2009

In this inspiring TED Talk, Barry Schwarz makes a passionate call for "practical wisdom" as an antidote to a society gone mad with bureaucracy. He argues powerfully that rules often fail us, incentives often backfire, and practical, everyday wisdom will help rebuild our world.

Or as Obama put it "It's not enough to ask 'is it profitable?', you have to ask 'is it right?' "



Read more in an interview with Barry Schwarz, right after he gave this talk.

Barry Schwarz's previous research was on 'Paradox of Choice', where he asserts that less can actually be more. He talks about 'maximisers': people who are out to always find THE BEST and don't feel happier than 'satisficers' for whom 'good enough is good enough'. It is all about simplifying your choice.

Paradox of Choice book.

Read also my earlier posts on related subjects:
Choices are luxuries - or are they?
Your talent lies in your choice.


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Information: a source of learning or a burden?

>> 21 January 2009



Information is a source of learning. But unless it is organized, processed, and available to the right people in a format for decision making, it is a burden, not a benefit.

-- William Pollard




There is a huge amount of information thrown at us on a daily basis.

There are studies that show that it is stressful to have to assimilate too much information. Ads on television and in magazines, information on the internet, even the content description on a tube of toothpaste has exacerbated our body's evolutionary ability to handle it.

Watch this interesting illustration of the problem:




I invite you to visit this site on The Information Explosion which illustrates the evolution of the information explosion, tells us about the effects and how we break information into manageable chunks and shows the different roles of Media and Technology for example.

You may also want to read this very interesting article on Information Overload, its effects and how to fight it.

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Do schools kill creativity?

>> 20 December 2008

Grab a coffee, sit down and relax and watch Sir Ken Robinson tell you all about creativity and the pitfalls of the future we have to steer clear from.




This speech and many other inspiring video's can be found on TED.
I found this on Zenstorming which has many interesting posts.

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How to potty train your toddler and not go insane

>> 22 September 2008

Our oldest son (now 2 years and 4 months) is now potty trained.

Wayhay!

A first try at daycare and at home, left him confused, upset, constipated and wrongly focused on his bodily funtions: a clear indication that he was not ready yet.

So we left him alone for a while and put the diaper back on.

He would pee in the potty from time to time but we were not pushing him. Every result was congratulated and celebrated with a special Potty Calendar.


Each time he peed in the potty he was allowed to glue a sticker on the calendar.

And when one page of the calendar was full, he was allowed to send a special potty postcard to someone.

He liked the concept of sticking labels but it was not enough incentive to actually pee on the pot. But they say people are creatures of habit and after a while, the stickers stuck to him and it became a habit.

So we took up the potty training again by removing the diaper. And wonder above all wonders, no more 'accidents'. Peeing was the easy part of course. The Poo level is more impressive to the child, but generally happens right after :-)

A few more tips:

  • Wait until the child is at least 2 years of age. They say the child should be able to walk up and down the stairs on his/her own one foot after the other like adults (not two feet on the same step)
  • Talk to the child. Explain what pee and poo is all about. That it's natural. That everybody does it. That food and drink go in and poo and pee come out. They are toddlers, but do understand a hell of a lot more than we think.
  • Start by taking the diaper off during the day. Keep it on at night. You may keep it on during naps and long car rides as well. You have to persevere here and arm yourself with patience.
  • Get everyone involved. Family members, daycare staff... all need to be on the same potty training focus here. And in line with the point below.
  • Do not scold the child but be supportive. Accidents happen. Try to use non-violent, non-reproaching language. Explain what happened, clean it up together.
  • Stop when it doesn't work. If your child refuses to go, hides the potty, says no-no-no everytime you even mention the potty, just forget about it. The kid is not ready. Go back to diapers. Do not make a big fuss. No need to frustrate your child.
  • Go back to the diaper life.
  • Wait a few weeks.
  • Try again. Usually the second time around is a winner.

For those who are looking for a ludic way to get your toddler to become potty trained, I can only recommend the use of a calendar. It is not the solution, but an aid.

You can get the potty calendar we used here. But there are lots of other options out there:

Potty training rewards
Free Dora the Explorer charts
Kaboose potty trainind calendar
Potty training printables at About.com
Potty training tips
Keep kids healthy



Vote for my post How to potty train your toddler and not go insane on Mom Blog Network

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Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts

>> 6 May 2008



You don't choose your family, you are born into one.


No matter how hard they try and even by doing the best they can, your parents are very likely to f**k you up (see also the book 'They f*** you up' by Oliver James). Some of us realise this sooner, some later. And it isn't until we realise this, that we are able to distance ourselves from them as adults, to become our own standalone selves.


When we become a parent ourselves, we become a little bit wiser. We also start to understand a few things about our own parents. Because: being a parent is not easy. It is hard because the moment the offspring is born and you start to love them to pieces, you also have to start letting them go.


And I guess parents can never entirely let their children go. My dad is the best example of that. Even though I am married with two kids, he still likes to 'meddle' with our lives. Not in a bad way - he always means well - but it feels a bit invasive at times :-) He is very much a DIY kind of guy. He can make something out of nothing, repair everything and if you ask him for a certain tool or item you can be sure he has it in his workshop (he keeps and stores EVERYTHING). That's why we like him.


What we like less is when he comes to our house unannounced to take away our garden furniture in order to sand and paint it.


What we do not appreciate is when he goes into the garden and puts all the pieces of the to be mounted swing-set on top of each other in a corner so that the grass does not go yellow underneath. For the record: these items had all been spread out neatly by number and in the order they were supposed to be mounted and we had to spread them out all over again...


What we find annoying is when we notice after he left that he has moved things in the garage - just because he thinks it is better to put them there instead of here.

What bothers us is the fact that he just does these things without asking our permission. We would probably have said yes to the sanding and painting of the garden furniture. But him taking it, just ruined the whole idea.

What irritates us is that by doing things a certain way, HIS way, he indirectly tells us that OUR way is wrong.



I do not come from a family that talks much - I mean, we talk, but not about the really important things like problems, feelings etc. So telling my dad that these gestures were not appreciated and why, was a major step for me. I first called my mom to let off some steam. Then I let a few days pass. Finally, I confronted my dad.


What can I say...? It's like he shuts down to this kind of conversations. Yes, he heard me. Yes, he will ask in the future. But did he understand why? No. And will he stop doing the things he does? Probably not.

I know he is probably not going to change - not until he understands our point of view. And he is just a stubborn kind of guy that won't admit he can be wrong. It runs in the family :-)

But I am glad and a bit proud that at least I am now able to talk to him about these things.

Thanks to Sunday Scribblings for triggering this post about Family.

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Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love. - Mildred B. Vermont

>> 20 February 2008

I just love this video - it is so true.

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You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions - Denis Waitley

>> 14 November 2007

I have abandoned a few assumptions this week. I assumed I could be pregnant (i.e. deal with all the hormones and prepare for this new life coming), take care of our 17 months old boy, my other half and study for a degree at the same time.

I had to admit I was wrong. The strain of having to juggle so many things at the same time when all I wanted to do was take care of myself, read, buy baby clothes, hug my boy and man, was making me iffy and moody. I became angry at myself and the world. I started to doubt myself and my choices. I started to become seriously stressed and letting it out on the ones around me. And all these emotions were not good for the baby either.


Why could I not handle this?


I started analysing the situation. The reason why I chose these classes was so that I could obtain this degree. A degree which would not have advanced me in my current job. It would only allow me to possibly follow some other courses in order to possibly make a career change into education. And education was something I had picked out as being an ideal field to work in when you have to raise two children.

I realised that I would have to catch up on 3 years of education to get this degree - which would probably have taken me more than 3 years in distance learning. After that, it was not sure whether I could actually get into the career path I'd chosen.


What was I to do? Give up?


At first I felt like a failure. I was raised to finish and succeed in everything I started. But this was not doing me or my family any good. After a lengthly and tearful discussion with my other half, I came to see that I had to set my priorities. I had to abandon my assumptions. My other half made it clear to me that that is not the same as giving up your conviction.

I am still confident that I will find the best possible working solution in order to raise my kids the way I intend to. It might just not be a career in education and I might not have the same free time as my children. But there are other solutions and I will strive to find the suitable ones to my situation in due time.
I let go.
It felt like such a relief. I felt light again, undone of a burden. I felt happy again. I was thrilled at the prospect of going shopping for ideas to make the perfect baby card. The thought of being able to lie on the couch and just read for a few hours made me joyful.
Carol Shields was taking the words out of my mouth when she wrote:

Go for long walks,
indulge in hot baths,
question your assumptions,
be kind to yourself,
live for the moment,
loosen up,
scream,
curse the world,
count your blessings,
just let go,
just be.

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Why do we have a preference in what we want to learn?

>> 7 November 2007

We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself - Lloyd Alexander


Today I am wondering why it is that we have a preference in what we like to learn and thus most of the time find easy to learn.


Why do I find reading about and learning the English language or geography easier than say mathematics (the current three subjects I am more or less struggling with at the moment)?

I'm sure a scientist will find a very scientific answer to that. But since I don't have a preference for math, I don't particularly like sciences in general either and so his opinion does not interest me :-)

I am convinced that one can learn or learn to do just about anything. I am convinced that I can learn math (yes I can!), even understand it and be able to explain it to someone. However, I will not have acquired this knowledge with pleasure and ease. And I firmly believe that pleasure and ease play a big role in how well we learn and are thus able to keep that knowledge alive.

The cornerstone of education is guiding children in the right direction to learn certain things but above all teach them to enjoy learning them.

When I went to school (we're talking primary and secondary) learning was not presented as fun. It was something you had to do - like a chore. No wonder most kids found school to be a drag. I quite enjoyed the fact that I was learning something. I was quite proud to have acquired a new knowledge and would let everyone around me know it too :-)

I realise however that most of the everyday things I learned, I learned without realising I was learning them: my mother tongue and local language, how to walk, use scissors, cut my bread, play with others, stand up for myself, buy ice cream, plant a tree, name all the animals, swim etc. And those are the things that stick.

I do agree that we have to learn certain general things in order to function in this world (math and accounting do help when you have to do your yearly tax declaration - although I guess you could pay someone to do that and be done with it too...) and have a basis to survive (get a job, cook a meal) and 'make it'.

One might even discover something new to like. I went to a drawing class once with my other half. Because he likes drawing and I wanted to be with him. The teacher taught us how to draw with the right side of the brain. And guess what? I liked it. I always thought I couldn't draw and in one short lesson I was proven wrong because someone used a different method to teach which clicked with me. It was like someone was telling me 'you can do it, you have talent, you are creative, pursue'.

The same happened with singing. I joined the local church choir like every girl in primary school. It was led by the same teacher who already wasn't good at instilling the pleasure side of learning in class. For him, every young girl was a soprano. Hence the immediate conclusion that I couldn' sing because as soon as the songs went above a certain note my voice just went mute :-) I am a definite alto I found out much later when I learned that my voice is an instrument I just needed to learn how to play.

So I am all for trying new things from time to time. And I have found gratitude in finishing a math exercise because I finally 'got it'. But pleasure and fun are not the same. Why do I continue? I am looking at the goal that's at the end of it. I know that this is just the road that I need to travel and get behind me in order to reach that goal that will (hopefully) give me that satisfaction and fun that I am looking for. I hope not to get discouraged and stranded on the way. I try to focus on the road as well and see the beauty of it (there are sometimes flowers growing on the side of each road) instead of just looking ahead at tomorrow and maybe missing something that have been fun after all.

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You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it - Charles Buxton

>> 17 October 2007

I have recently taken up my studies again. I quit school at the age of 17. I wanted to see the world, travel, earn my own money and independance and not spend years at school when I didn't really know what I wanted to become. My parents did not push me to go to university. Getting a decent job was already a big achievement for them. I got a decent job and I have worked my way up the corporate ladder ever since.

As I mentioned, being independant at a young age was an advantage to me at that time. I was living on my own in Paris when most of my friends were still living with their parents. I had money (albeit litte) and was free to do all the silly things and mistakes one has to do to grow up. I learned by doing, on the job, in real life. I had to deal with finding someone on the weekend to replace my apartment door wrecked by burglars. I had to handle a berserk neighbour knocking on my door every so often threatening to harm me. I had to get rid of a stalker. I had to learn how to fill in my first tax declaration in a foreign country. I am not sure university teaches you this kind of things.

Now that I am (still :-) thirty-something and my life is blissfully settled, I discover regret at never having studied something. For the knowledge I missed, for the experience of having to sit through 4 years of hard work, for the diploma and the doors it opens.

It is not easy to change your career. Most women come to such a point in their lives when they have children and their entire life is turned upside down and with it the priorites they had set themselves. I don't necessarily need to have a fast-moving career anymore. This does not mean that I am not ambitious anymore. I just want to find a job that satisfies me, that allows me to do what I like to do and that is flexible with the life I lead and the needs I have.
Let me tell you that such a job probably doesn't exist. Job flexibility is so hard to find. I figured I could find a job in education. That would at least put me on the same schedule as the children. But as I do not have the necessary qualification for it (being a mother alone does not count for anything) I wanted to do the necessary courses to attend that goal. Well, it seems that in order to be allowed in those courses you first need to have finished your secondary school diploma - which is what I lack since I left school at the age of 17. So now I find myself distance learning to catch up with my baccalaureate.

There are a few major problems I have encountered so far:



  1. getting your brain back into studying mode is a challenge

  2. knowledge gained on subjects such as maths, physics, geography, biology is so far gone that you have to start from scratch

  3. finding the time to study

I want to elaborate on the last point as it gives me the most headaches.


How is one supposed to find time??? after:


  • full time job,

  • feeding hungry kid,

  • putting kid in bath and bed,

  • making and having dinner for partner and self,

  • cleaning up kitchen and other mess

  • catch up on mail, pay invoices

  • catch up with partner's day

After above list is checked off, it's 9 or 10 pm most of the time. Then I have to switch on the pc (which takes about 5 minutes because of too many crap softwares...), read my distance learning mail, find one of the online modules that I have chosen to learn over the next 8 weeks, read online what it is again I need to do or print it because online reading gives your head a buzz after a while. After one or two hours of reading about meteorological previsions and what makes up a climate or doing maths exercices and equations I drag my tired old feet to bed.

Obviously I am horribly off schedule. I have chosen 3 subjects for the first 8 week period (Maths, Geography and English). The only one I am not so worried about it English as I use it every day. But Maths and Geography are decades (I am not kidding) away. I find myself getting frustrated because I just can't seem to get a simple





into my head.

And yesterday I gave up with:








Can you blame me??? :-)


I suppose that planning is the solution to this of course. But even with minute planning, the schedule of my day still looks the same and I end up having no time to do all the things that need to be done.


Does anyone have a magic trick or just good advice for me?

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Poverty is the mother of crime - Marcus Aurelius

>> 8 October 2007

US man faces potential 30-year prison sentence for stealing a doughnut.


Picture this: a guy tries to steal a doughnut - probably because he is poor and hungry and just wants to eat. On his way out the shopkeeper tries to hold him back and maybe he pushes her a bit trying to get past her.
Turns out that the push is now being treated as minor assault, which transforms a misdemeanor shoplifting charge into a strong-armed robbery with a potential prison term of five to 15 years. Given the hungry guy's past criminal record, prosecutors could boost that sentence to 30 years to life.
30 years of imprisonment for stealing a doughnut? Because of the principle that 'a crime is a crime', 'everyt crime should be treated equally' and 'it's not the doughnut, it's the assault'?
So the guy has a past: he has been arrested more than a dozen times for crimes ranging from shoplifting to drug possession to torching a car for insurance fraud. He has done time in prison for these crimes. Not 30 years but the allocated time for crimes such as these.
Has anyone ever asked him why he keeps committing 'minor' crimes? I assume he is not rich, probably has a drug habit. He is trying to get by with the little he has and seems to be caught up in a vicious circle.
Don't get me wrong, I do not tolerate nor agree with his crimes. I am just saying that a stolen doughnut is not enough crime to deserve 30 years of imprisonment. And even if he did go to jail for 30 years. What happens when he comes out? He still has no money, his addiction has probably worsened (don't tell me they don't do drugs in jail) and where will he go from there? Probably to another store to steal something to eat.
It is clear that in order to eradicate crime, we need to address the root causes. These include, but are not limited to, greed, inadequate corporate oversight, poverty, lack of education, homelessness, drug addiction, racial hatred, and lax gun laws.
I agree with you that some of these causes are harder to eliminate than others. But without helping (or trying to help) criminals to get back on the right track before they get out again, they are doomed to just get straight back into the same downwards spiral.
In Pollsmoor, a harsh prison in Capetown (South Africa) of which Nelson Mandela was the most famous inmate, is filled with the most dangerous criminals and known for it's gangsterism. It is in this prison that an astonishing experiment took place, led by Joanna Thomas (from Cape Town's Centre for Conflict Resolution), to find out whether these criminals can change. The goal of these workshops is to transform the prison from a militaristic culture to a culture of learning, growth and development, where human rights are respected and people are treated with dignity and respect in order to achieve a reduction in the rate of crime and recidivism.
The goal is to come to a certain 'awakening' where one becomes conscious of things that seemed invisible before.
A prison is like a pressure cooker where everyone keeps everything (thoughts and emotions) to himself. And even if couples, gangs or fraternities are formed, everyone lives for himself, the indiviual must be very strong, contain everything and provide for everything. When you sit down in a circle with these inmates, talk to them and show them sincere interest you will very quickly get a catharsis effect.
Let them listen to some Verdi as sung by Pavarotti and something happens - an inmate maybe suddenly understands what the word empathy means. It might sound kitsch, but these men have very kitsch emotional reactions. They pass from toughness to tears without transition or intermediate state. Things are white or black, they are there or not. In most of the cases, this emotional infantilism comes from a blocked affectiveness development during childhood provoked by a mistreatment, often sexual, often at a very young age.
A big part of Joanna's work consisted in creating bridges between the white and the black, the good and the evil, the wound and the causes. She does not control the catharsis that this 'awakening' brings but she knows that she provokes it and knows the techniques that lead there.
The impact, if spectacular, is not always comprehensible. For us, letting ourselves fall down into the arms of colleagues is already difficult, even if it animates team motivation seminars. How to measure the emotional shock by the same exercise of this visibly troubled inmate who, for the first time in his life, has had a physical contact other than violent or forced? And throwing balls in a group obliges to have eye contact for something completely different than defiance, aggression or submission exchanged usually.
The instantaneous and impressive physical aspect of the process can be explained by the fact that if they were abused and beaten as children (something which the mind cannot comprehend without therapy), it is with the body that they attempt to make sense of things; the body becoming their thinking organ.
When I saw this documentary, I was impressed with the results. You saw these die hards talking about the people and inmates they have abused and killed and once they went to the workshop they were crying because their father had never loved them.
And that is what I mean by attacking the root causes...
So instead of incarcerating the doughnut thief for 30 years and sending him to a prison where his behaviour will only get worse, one should set him down and talk to him as one would to a child who stole a doughnut and ask him why he did it and take it from there. Life would be a better place if we treated everyone like that.
Sources
Press article on doughnut thief
Killers don't cry article in French

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Delay gratification in the short term and enjoy greater rewards in the long term

>> 17 September 2007

The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable pre-requisite for success - Brian Tracy


If you put a marshmallow in front of your 4-year old and said that he could eat it immediately or wait until you returned and he'd get another one, what would he do?

My son is not 4 years old yet - but maybe I will do the test with him to find out what his behaviour tells me about his possible future.
Walter Mischel did this test with several hundreds of 4-year olds. They videotaped the kid's reactions. Some of them gobbled up the marshmallow immediately; some looked at it, smelled it, touched it but didn't eat it. Others started walking around, humming songs to distract themselves. One even licked the space on the table surrounding the marshmallow.
Fourteen years later, these kids are grown and the findings are quite dramatic.
  • Kids who did not eat the marshmallow immediately but waited for the tester to return (and were thus gratified with a second marshmallow) seemed to show many more skills that make for success. They had many of the "habits of successful people": confidence, persistence, capacity to cope with frustration. The "waiters" were more socially competent and self-assertive, trustworthy, dependable and more academically successful.
  • On the other hand, the kids who gobbled the treat immediately showed trouble subordinating immediate impulses to achieve long-range goals. When it was time to study for the big test, they tended to get distracted into listening to a favourite TV programs.
So what are "marshmallows" in our professional and personal lives? They are the activities which give us immediate gratification but undermine longer-range benefits. The desire to please everyone is a big "marshmallow".

It seems that the ability to delay gratification is a master skill, a triumph of the reasoning brain over the impulsive one. It is a sign, in short, of emotional intelligence (Definition according to Mayer, J.D. & Salovey, P. (1997): "The ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions, and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth").
And it doesn't show up on an IQ test.

Take the Emotional IQ test.

If there is a cornerstone to emotional intelligence on which most other emotional skills depend, it is a sense of self-awareness, of being smart about what we feel. Scientists refer to "metamood," the ability to pull back and recognize that "what I'm feeling is anger," or sorrow, or shame.

Metamood is a difficult skill because most of the time our emotions appear in disguise (the mourner is sad but may also be angry at the person for dying - the parent of a child who ran across the street is angry at the child for disobedience but may also experience fear of what could have happened).

Self-awareness is perhaps the most crucial ability because it allows us to exercise some self-control. The idea is not to repress feeling but rather to do what Aristotle considered the hard work of the will. As he puts it in the Nicomachean Ethics : "Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy."

Some impulses are easier to overcome than others. Anger, not surprisingly, is one of the hardest, perhaps because of its evolutionary value in priming people to action. The more stressed one is, the lower the threshold for release. Anxiety is another typical one.

Given sufficient self-awareness, people develop coping mechanisms. Sadness and discouragement, for instance, are "low arousal" states. If you go out for a run you are triggering a high arousal state that is incompatible with staying blue. Relaxation works better for high-energy moods like anger or anxiety.

Either way,
Be an optimist : When an optimist fails, he attributes the failure to something he can change, not some innate weakness that he is helpless to overcome.

The most visible emotional skills, the ones we recognize most readily, are the "people skills" like empathy, graciousness, the ability to read a social situation. Researchers believe that about 90% of emotional communication is nonverbal.
If you have a good ability to read emotional cues, you most likely tend to be more successful in your work and relationships.

In the corporate world, according to personnel executives, IQ gets you hired, but EQ gets you promoted.

So next time someone wiggles a marshmallow in front of your nose (or a carrot, or a special deal,...), think about it twice, breathe,...


Links
Time Reports - Understanding Psychology
Self-awareness
Non-verbal communication

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On raising bilingual children

When I was pregnant with our first baby an important question popped up. How do we raise our kid language-wise. I am a native Dutch speaker, my other half is a native French speaker. Together we speak French and we live in a country that has another, third language: Luxembourgish.

After some research and reading of books, I came to the conclusion that information contained on the web and in books is helpful but that each situation is different and particular. Hence, there is no one-solution-fit-all.

I was born and raised in Luxembourg but up until the age of 4 only spoke Dutch at home. Getting to Kindergarten I did not understand a word of what the kids were saying. Back then (early seventies) the community was much less international than it is now, so I was the minority. I do not remember feeling left out for long though. I do not remember having any difficulty language-wise.

The particularity about Luxembourg is that Luxembourgish is only an official language since the 80ies and that French and German are the norm when it comes to written language. Our schoolbooks were in German, so after learning to speak Luxembourgish, German was the next (at age 6) and French shortly thereafter (at age 7). I had no problem with German, as all the books were in German, Luxembourgish (in which I was by then fluent) is very close to it and most television was in German. I had a bit more difficulties with French, but so did everyone else. Eventually English was added (at age 13) with which I had very few problems compared to my fellow students. Later, during my career, I also came to learn Italian and Spanish.

When asked which language is my mothertongue I have a hard time choosing between Dutch and Luxembourgish. Dutch because it was my first language - but I never poperly learned how to write it and being a kid of expatriats, the language the parent's speak is not always up to date. Luxembourgish because it is the language I was most immersed in during childhood (I count and most of the time think in Luxembourgish) but it was never taught in writing and there is hardly what can be called literature available in that language.

Over the years my brain has gotten so used to all the languages that switching from one to the other is not a big deal. I speak much more English and French nowadays than I do Luxembourgish so I find myself thinking in the language I speak.

We have decided to raise our son with the OPOL method: One Parent, One Language. I speak Dutch to him, my other half French. My parents, who watch him a lot too speak Dutch to him as well which means that currently his most strong language is Dutch and his first words (he is almost 16 months now) are mainly Dutch. But he understands my other half perfectly and the daycare speaks French to him too so the first French words are coming as well. When he goes to school (at the age of 3) he will be immersed into the Luxembourgish environment (as I was when I was little) and will learn Germand in primary school. He will already have perfect knowledge of French by the time his friends are starting to learn it - so that's one less to worry about.

What we do still not know is how we deal with education after primary school. Luxembourg has a variety of schools on offer (European School, International School, French School) - all of which are far away from where we live. So logistically it would be a drag. Financially they are also quite a burden. And to top it, these schools are hard to get into because priority is given to European Community workers, French Nationals etc.

We do think however, that higher education focused more on one language (French for example), with books, teachers, literature in that language (instead of German and French and English etc) would be an advantage.

We believe that raising a bilingual kid is easy on the homefront but difficult in an international environment where the school system does not have a primary language focus.

I'd be glad to hear your experiences in this area. Email me.

Links:

Raising Bilingual Children by Marsha Rosenberg

FRENCH:



DUTCH:

Schools in Luxembourg:

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