Quarrelsome builders and expatriates

Today one of my blog posts about quarrelsome builders is featured over at Expatica.lu.

Expatica is a site full of news and information for the international community.

They have several country sites, one of which is Luxembourg. It's a home away from home for expatriates. It brings news and feature articles on subjects such as moving, housing, employment and Family and Kids.

They are currently looking for contributors.

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www.expatica.com

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I will write peace on your wings and you will fly all over the world -- Sadako Sasaki

Someone's dream stopped this morning.

Gabrielle gave a pair of those wings to my dear cousin this morning.

And it makes her message even clearer than it already was 4 days ago when I posted her video.

He should have been born around the same time as me. He was born a month after me. He was a special boy. Whether is was the genes, a lack of oxygen, ... we would never know exactly.

But we always knew he was special.

Not only because he sat in a wheelchair.
Not only because he would tell us yes by looking up and no by looking down.
Not only because he could only communicate through a letter board on his wheelchair and by getting our attention honking his little horn.

But above all because he was able to stand up to his parents and tell them he didn't believe in God anymore.
Because he could beat us at board games.
Because he loved football so much he got to go to all his team's games and get a 'special' spot behind the goal.
Because he had parents who did anything for him from rebuilding their entire house, buying a 'special person's' RV, taking him to football matches, Tour de France races...

So many times he must have been jealous of us, of what we were able to do. Despite all the 'special' things he had access to...

He too turned 40 a few weeks ago.

He will not turn 41.

And I am so lucky to have known him. To have been able to share the little bit of life with him that made me realize already as a kid that I was lucky.

His beautiful soul will continue to fly all over the world.
I hope he gets to see all the places he never was able to until now.

Fly JP, fly.

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Life isn't a matter of milestones but of moments - Rose F. Kennedy

Milestone

An important point in your journey
a deadline not to be missed
a project's go or no go decision
a marker on the road in the mist.

The happiest day in your life
your wedding, your child's birth
the saddest of days it can be too
showing you what it's all worth.

Some of the stones you plant yourself
some are put in place by others
reaching them can become quite a battle
often creating strong bands of brothers.

A stone every mile along the road
to tell you where you are heading
and if you decide to take a different turn
does that mean you're in for some tough sledding?

A milestone is a reference point
of value only to those
who know what it's referring to
they reach it and can repose.

Some of those stones become a burden
to reach, get rid of or try to displace
what if we ignored them and went on our way
to explore all corners of life's beautiful maze?


(c) Mindful Mimi - February 2010

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Live your dreams right now!

Let Gabrielle put motivation in your soul...

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Help Haiti Blog Challenge - sequel

Dear readers,

Thank you for supporting the challenge and spreading the word.

The items you ordered are shipped and should be with you shortly.

I hope you liked them.

I have just donated 150 euros to both the Red Cross and Doctors without Borders.

Thank you for your generosity.

M

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Help Haiti Blog Challenge

I have Haiti on my mind.

I read Aidan's blog post and surfed on over to the blog challenge that triggered her post.

I found the idea creative - and you know I like creative ideas, and especially the ones that have a link to charity.

Today I have decided to participate.

Until 31st January 2010:

• for each person that places an order on my Red Bubble,

• for each person that places an order on my friend Sabine's Red Bubble,

I will match the amount of your order and donate it to 'Medecins sans Frontieres' in Luxembourg.

You can buy a simple card at 2,73 euros, prints or framed prints. Your order decides the amount I will donate. On top of that, you will soon be the owner of a fabulous piece of art.

• Furthermore, whether you place an order or not, if you leave a comment to this post I will donate 2 euros to MSF.

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If you want to participate yourself in the Help Haiti Challenge, please read instructions below and visit the site:

1. Sign up for the Help Haiti Blog Challenge. Write about it on your blog and tag it “Help Haiti Blog Challenge“. Ask your people to join you and do the same.
2. Add the Help Haiti Blog Challenge badge to your blog.
3. Make your offer: I will donate ________ dollars to _________ on behalf of the next person who buys _________ from me.
4. Make your donation and tell us how much you donated.
5. Tweet about it using the hashtag #haitiblogchallenge. Update your facebook status with a request to pass on the message and the call to action. Send e-mails. Everywhere you are, online, talk about the Help Haiti Blog Challenge, tag it, and call your friends, family, colleagues – your people – to action.

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15 ways to a happier you

How are those New Year resolutions coming along?

Have you given up smoking/eating cookies/gobbling ice cream/complaining yet?

Have you started exercising/eating healthier/being grateful for the small things/do one good deed a day?

No?

Well, then this post if for you. Here are 15 easy ways to become a happier you without the strain of having to stick to objectives...

1. Do one thing at a time
   
   We live in a fast-paced world. But some people, like Tal Ben Shahar, professor of positive psychology at Harvard, can be heard saying 'Stop multitasking!'
   Why? The fact of being constantly interrupted - especially at work - is psycho-toxic! The level of anxiety rises and the tendency for frustration also.
   So what to do if you have obviously too many things to deal with at the same time?
   You start with the most simple things: like switching off your phone for 2 hours a day, concentrating 4 hours in a row, consulting your emails only at certain times in a day and not every 5 minutes...
   
   
2. Move
   
   Happiness is also chemical. According to Tal Ben Shahar, sports is as good as any anti depressant because it stimulates the secretion of dopamine, a carburator with effects similar to cocaine - the same substance one produces when being in love. The minimum rythm necessary: 3 times a week.
   'To not move is depressing for certain' says the master of happiness.
   
   
3. Forgive instead of get even
   
   Happy with your loved ones? Yes, if you decide to forgive and move on instead of insisting on getting even. Instead of blaming everything on your parents, become a spectator of your own family, like in a theater, and develop some humor and compassion.
   Your mother has had her share of suffering, your dad has done what he could. In short, do not remain fixated on your infantile, hardheaded principles.
   
   
4. Hugs, hugs, hugs
   
   According to neurobiologist Jean-Didier Vincent, touch starts a major secretion of oxytocin, the hormone of love and well being. How? As soon as you touch it, the body shivers and informs the brain of its well being via the sensitive nerves. 'With the great apes,' says the neurobiologist 'we call this grooming. Whether its hugs, or grooming touches, even animals know how to get their social well being.'
   
   
5. Find your mantra
   
   This positive phrase, this affirmation, repeated again and again like a Leitmotiv, is a message, an injunction, sent to the brain.
   Buddhists call them 'auto-compassionate mantras': they protect us from our own monkey brain ruminating negative thoughts.
   'I am beautiful' - 'I am successful' - 'I am an artist' - 'I am loved'
   Such affirmations support your self esteem and also eliminate comparative thoughts such as 'he is better than me' - 'why does this work for her and not for me?'.
   It's a psychic force. Try it - repeat often. Stick it on your bathroom mirror.
   
   
6. Stay objective
   
   Do you know the theory of the 'flat tire'? It means that in the face of a little mishap in life, you stay with what is real - without amplifying the problem like: 'I am crap' - 'These things only happen to me' - 'I wont' make it'. In fact, the flat tire is in itself not a big problem... but become huge if you add a psycho toxic reflection to it.
   How do you get the upper hand on this again? According to psychiatrist Christophe André, nothing is better than meditation. Close your eyes and domesticate your brain to remain present, here, now. Even if your monkey brain has the tendency to run off and anticipate, you have to catch it.
   How? Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes, breathe deeply. Slowly, the negative thoughts appear and you let them go. Create a distance to them instead of letting yourself be carried away by them. A daily meditation of 10 to 15 minutes if sufficient. Meditation teaches us to identify our little problems and our habit to amplify them.
   Result: people who meditate activate their left prefrontal cortex more, the region of the brain associated with optimism, happiness and well being. Simultaneously, they reduce the left prefrontal cortex, associated with pessimism, depression and doubt.
   
   
7. Dream:
   
   The more you let yourself dream, the better a picture of your existence you get. You take a step back, you look at the forest, not the tree. 'It is contrary to our autopilot that makes us unhappy' underlines psychiatrists Christophe André. If these instances of inactivity are precious, it is because they allow us to link up with ourselves. We go from the 'doing' mode to the 'being' mode. And that does a hell of good. By 'muscling' our 'being' we become stronger in the face of stress with the result that we are happier on a daily basis.
   
   
8. Search for smells of the past
   
   Since Proust and the little madeleine, we know the emotional power of smells. Falling back, even for a little moment, into the security of childhood is source of joy. So go and by Parfumaster, a game where you have to identify scents. Not only fun for the kids. You will be able to tap into your olfactory hard disk.
   
   
9. Eat shrimp
   
   Not the one's you usually buy, but KRILL. This mini-shrimp which the whales eat loads of is full of omega 3 fatty acids but also phospholipids and antioxidants (killing free radicals). What is the link on our mood? A study done at McGill university in Montreal as demonstrated the krill oil has a beneficiary effect on emotional and psychological symptoms. No need to go shrimp fishing, you can find krill oil in tablet form.
   
   
10. Smile
    
    It may be nothing, but when you smile, you spread positive waves around you...that come back like a boomerang at some point or other.
    The effects of smiling are explained by an interpersonal effect (the social benefits that come back to us) and an intrapersonal (you smile to yourself and does you good). An American study has proven the importance of smiling in the resolution of grief. Women who had lost their partner but who spoke to friends about happy past moments with a smile, were able to put their grief behind them much faster than those who spoke about such moments with a sad face.
    source: facial expressions of emotion and the course of conjugal bereavement, journal of abnormal psychology 1997
    
    
11. Welcome sadness
    
    Paradoxically sadness is not the contrary of happiness...sadness even fully participates in happiness. According to Christophe André, happiness is a mix of 'states of mind' (3/4 positive, 1/4 negative). As such, a sunset can be enjoyed fully if you associate with it the notions of finitude, of death. The problem is to welcome it without ceding to depression. One thing is sure thought: if we push those little 'gray' moments away, they will come back to haunt us.
    
    
12. Invent an evening ritual (like the kids)
    
    These rituals become chambers of decrompression that allow a better passage from one place to another, or even one emotional state to another allow us to better evacuate the negative points of the day. Choose one, invent one: go for a walk before bedtime, take a relaxing bath, light candles, ... For more ideas check out the book Five Good Minutes in the Evening.
    
    
13. Accept happiness
    
    ...but without chasing it. Don't become a 'euphoria maniac'. The very contemporary injunction to be happy and live life to the fullest is one of the principal enemies of happiness. 'One starts to see it as an obligation and that brings even more suffering when you can't get there.' says writer Pascal Bruckner. So welcome and accept happiness, but don't chase it.
    
    
14. Cultivate your networks (the real ones)
    
    Facebook and Twitter have nothing to do with these networks. These are 'real' people. Those you meet physically. Seeing your friends does you good - that's not a scoop. But a recent study shows that when our friends are happy, so are we. The researchers calculated that a friend of a happy person living less than 1 km away has a 25% chance to become happy - the next door neighbor has even a 34% chance. The closer the friend lives, the stronger the contagion.
    source: british medical journal, 2008
    
    
15. Be proud to be good
    
    In the book 'A la poursuite du bonheur', by Stéphane Osmont, neuro psychiatrist David Servan Schreiber affirms that the most happy people are teachers, psychologists, fire fighters... basically those who live a relation of helping others. Being good is not a Christian virtue: it helps to develop a pacifying sentiment, for the good reason that it awakes the sensation of 'connection with others', sine qua non condition to being happy.
    

Freely translated and adapted from Avantages Magazine.

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