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Your talent lies in your choice - Stella Adler

>> 29 December 2008

Asking questions are the most important first steps to positive changes in the development of your talent, your career.  The act of asking questions sets our course to investigate, explore, wonder, and do.

Questioning stimulates action. 
Questions enhance our choices, and our results. 

So find out what's on your mind. Look at a problem, a path you consider, a goal you are looking for and ask yourself many questions. Look at it from many different angles, points of view. 
Pretend to be someone else, say your complete opposite, and think about what such a person would choose. How does that make you feel? Does it confirm your choice or make you doubt?

Choice is nothing else than the chisel we use to sculpt our life. Every choice we make takes us closer to or further away from our goals.

As Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote, "He who chooses the beginning of a road, chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determine the end."

Sometimes, when we get to a fork in our road, we will find that one of the paths is easy to take. But that may be the only good thing about it. Is it a path of temptation? Or is it a noble path?

Besides smart versus stupid and good versus bad choices, there is also the choice of non-action. If we don't make a choice, we do nothing. And we have to be aware that it is our decision to do nothing. We give over to fate to sculpt our life instead of shaping it ourselves.

We have to ask ourselves whether we can do this or whether we just want it because we are tempted? We have to always look for the good. No life is so difficult that it cannot be made better by changing and improving our attitude. Because if we cannot change the circumstances, we can always change ourselves.

When we make a choice, do we make it out of habit, for instant rewarding or is it really a conscious choice, made especially for that occasion and reason? It is not always easy. The journal Nature suggests that in order to explore new and potentially rewarding options, the brain has to override the desire for immediate profit. Do you want to wait 10 minutes to eat two cookies or do you want one cookie now?
Having a cookie now caters to the immediate desire for pleasure, but waiting a little bit for the two cookies may be the more logical, most rewarding option.
"By exploring, we are forgoing the comfortable option in order to do something that might be better in the long run." says Nathaniel Daw,  co-author of the study.


Read also an earlier post of mine on Choices are luxuries - or are they?

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To be an artist...

>> 28 December 2008


"To be an artist, it is not necessary to make a living from our creations. It is necessary to live with our eyes wide open, to breathe in the colors of the mountain and sky, to know the sound of leaves rustling, the smell of snow, the texture of bark. To be an artist is to notice every beautiful and tragic thing. To cry freely. To collect experiences and shape them into forms that can be of use. It is not to whine about not having time, but to be creative with every moment. To be an artist is not to wait for others to define us, but to define ourselves, to claim our lives." 


Jan Phillip, author of "Marry Your Muse: Making a Lasting Commitment to Your Creativity"

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My blog is over the top

>> 27 December 2008

Although I never really got into and understood the point of Blog awards, I was quite happy and surprised to receive my first one by Vanessa of The Complicated Chatters and Paperback Designs.



So thanks Vanessa. Of course she thinks my blog has an exceptional design: she made it. So if you like my template and are looking for a new one, visit her at Paperback Designs.

So I would like to pass on the award to 5 exceptional blogs which I read on a regular basis and which I encourage you to visit:
  1. Christine Kane
  2. Lance at Jungle of Life
  3. Marelisa's Abundance Blog
  4. Indie at The Synchronicity of Indeterminacy
  5. The Pioneerwoman
These people are responsible for my spending too much time on the internet :-) Thanks you guys for always catching my attention with very mindful posts, photos etc. 

To receive this award your blog must be exceptional in design and content; presenting us with new knowledge, a sense of style, or at times just giving us a smile!

Each recipient of the award will acknowledge the person who honored them with the award and then go to http://overthetopaprons.blogspot.com to copy/paste the award : Your Blog is Over The Top. (located on the right sidebar, scroll down)



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Biking around the world to plant trees

>> 21 December 2008


Christmas is around the corner and it is time to present another mindful person in this season of giving and thanking. 

Have a look at the site of  Mohamad Tajeran at We Need Trees.
He is cycling around the world to plant a tree in each country that he passes. Apparently that is not always as easy at it seems.

The world needs trees. Way to go Mohamad!

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Do schools kill creativity?

>> 20 December 2008

Grab a coffee, sit down and relax and watch Sir Ken Robinson tell you all about creativity and the pitfalls of the future we have to steer clear from.




This speech and many other inspiring video's can be found on TED.
I found this on Zenstorming which has many interesting posts.

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Love is...

>> 19 December 2008


Couple therapist Harville Hendrix has established 10 rules that allow us to advance on the road to true love.


  1. Realize that our love relationship has a hidden agenda: heal both our childhood wounds

  2. Try to approach the truth of our partner by getting rid of our illusions and projections

  3. Communicate our needs and desires to our partner

  4. Make sure we 'build' our relationship and work at it every day

  5. Understand that the desires and needs of our partner are as important as our own

  6. Learn to know our dark side in order not to project it on our partner

  7. Have confidence in the other and abandon our self destructive tactics

  8. Find in ourselves the strengths and aptitudes that we are missing and no wait for the other to fill or complete them

  9. Love unconditionally

  10. Accept the difficulty of true love

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 10

>> 18 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazine presented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 10 - Another medicine is possible

The success of 'alternative' therapies (acupuncture, homeopathy,...) proves it: a new medicine is being born, founded on energy, centered on the individual as well as the illness.


"What I find fascinating in these alternative approaches, is that they use nature's own forces instead of going against them" - David Servan-Schreiber, psychiatrist

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 9

>> 17 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazine presented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 9 - Sexuality is invented outside of the norms

Starting from the person one is and the person one has met, far away from the norms of obligatory 'enjoyment', sexuality is a terrain for self expression, open to the 'ressenti*' and respect of the other.

"When one fixes oneself a goal in matters of sexuality, one risks strongly to pass by the pleasure" - Gérard Leleu, sexologist
* «ressenti»: literally, re-senti, re-felt. [The English word ‘resentment’, like the French ressentiment, is much more limited than ressenti, as it only describes the very particular feeling of being against].

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 8

>> 16 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazine presented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 8 - A 'radiant' body is better than a perfect one

True beauty is obtained by living harmoniously in one's body, not by submitting it to dictates of a society of appearance, with more and more destructive effects.

"To love what one is, one has to unify with one's body" - Francis Hofstein, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst

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We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment - Hilaire Belloc

>> 15 December 2008

DISTRACTIONS



SEE
Through the slits of my eyes
I see diffraction
fringes of light and dark
flood in as distraction

TOUCH
Muscles in my body
thicken into contraction
when you touch my skin
immediate distraction

HEAR
Trying to concentrate
my ears pick up a fraction
of conversations around
a welcome distraction

TASTE
Someone is talking to me 
I'm in a state of inaction
chocolate in my mouth
melts into distraction

SMELL
Thinking of tomorrow
something triggers reaction
the smell of cut grass
grows into distraction



(c) Mindful Mimi - December 2008
Thanks to  for prompting this poem on the theme of Distractions.

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 7

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazine presented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 7 - Body and spirit are one

Medicine rediscovers it: man is not separated in two, the body can influence the psyche and vice versa. The effects of meditation on health, of relaxation on stress, of physical exercise on depression are witnesses of it.

"One thinks as much with one's skin than with one's brain" - Sophie Marinopoulos, psychoanalyst

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 6

>> 14 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazine presented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 6 - Learn to live the present moment

It is the ultimate goal of meditation, of all self improvement: calm the inner discourse made of souvenirs, projections and desires of the future, to live one's presence in this world fully, here and now.

"The truth will not come, it is here and now" - Swami Prajnanpad, philosopher

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 5

>> 13 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazinepresented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 5 - Giving a sense to one's life is essential


Remember why we are living, living in accord with oneself , one's values and essential desires, help oneself with philosophy, cultivate one's spirituality... many roads towards self realization.

"It is not life that needs to have a sense, it is the sense that needs to be lived" - André Comte-Sponville, philosopher

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 4

>> 12 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazinepresented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 4 - Being a parent is something you learn


The landmarks of parental authority have exploded. Not always having received the keys, young parents today need to think about their own childhood and about the values they want to transmit.

"Educate a child, is teaching him to become a 'civilized' being" - Claude Halmos, psychoanalyst

Read more...

10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 3

>> 11 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazinepresented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.


Idea 3 - Love is built

Love is learned. Yes, love is a learning ground and not a given. Besides attraction and seduction, it is about learning to know the other and to harmonize a relationship which, by definition, is always in movement.

"We are the architects of our couple" - Salomon Nasielski, psychologist and psychotherapist

Read more...

10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 2

>> 10 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazinepresented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.



Idea 2 - Self esteem is the basis of everything


Learning to love oneself allows one to love others. When the self esteem grows, one can liberate oneself of crutches that artificially serve to stay erect (compulsive buys, strong emotions, alcohol...) and open up to those around one.

"One has to accept one's fragility to be able to meet the other" - Marie-France Hirigoyen, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst

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10 ideas, 10 convictions - part 1

>> 9 December 2008

To 'live a better life' there are a thousand possible ways. French Psychologies Magazine presented 10 strong ideas in its October issue which I would like to share with you, one a day. Please feel free to comment.




Idea 1 - Everyone can change


Without denying determinism which we underly (genetics, education, social status...), but on the contrary being conscious of it, we can all become actor of our life and pass over our wounds. Therapy, philosophy, spirituality, introspection... we have enough tools.
"To change, means to first of all change the point of view" - Jean-Bertrand Pontalis, philosopher and psychoanalyst

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To be on Facebook or not to be on Facebook... Part 2

>> 8 December 2008


After having written about my doubts with regard to being on Facebook for real, I just wanted to share with you a few articles and two video's (video's in French only...)
To me it is not the same as blogging and maybe I am fooling myself. So be it.

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I am serious, so I laugh a lot. You need to laugh. You don't laugh enough. I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh. - Maya Angelou

>> 4 December 2008


They say laughter is the best medicine. 


So today I want to invite you to have a good laugh and feel better. 
Go to Parental Instincts and laugh with the funniest babies on the web. 
Trust me, you will hold your belly. I especially love little Theo - he is so contagious.

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Thou shalt not voodoo...

>> 3 December 2008


At the beginning of October K&B started commercializing a voodoo doll made in the image of French Prime Minister Nicolas Sarkozy. It comes with a manual that gives tips on how and where to plant your pins to put a curse on him.


The Prime Minister apparently did not think this was funny (as opposed to Ségolène Royal - Sarkozy's socialist rival - whose doll was also put on the market and who did not sue but took this with humor) and took legal action to get the dolls taken back from the market. He demanded a ban, arguing that he owns the right to his image and had never authorized the doll

A court in Paris, however, threw out the request, ruling that the doll was protected by what it called "the right to humor". The dolls continue to be sold with a label stating that they are 'offensive to the president'.

The doll has since become a best-selling cult item and the news has seized on the news as a welcome distraction from the declining economy.

Funnily enough, when Sarkozy was interior minister in 2006, he defended the right of newspapers to publish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed that offended many Muslims.

With his behavior he has only added to the success of the product and made himself a bit ridiculous. Imagine if Bush had to sue everyone using his face for humor and satire....

And what would a psychologist say about this reaction?

Read more...

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